Bicyclists: A Friendly Warning

I won’t ramble on and on like I did last week. I promise that I have most of that out of my system for now. Today I found out that I live in the 89th angriest city in America. Now they attest this to high blood pressure and crowded streets. For me though I’d have to hone in on one thing in specific. That being bicyclists. Not all bicyclists just a certain breed of them. The one’s that feel it’s necessary to drive in the busy freakin’ street. I ask myself, “honestly is there something wrong with the sidewalks of our great nation?” When I was a kid I learned quickly that only motor vehicles belonged in the street. I suppose I wouldn’t have if weren’t for my parents yelling at me when I thought it would be a wonderful idea to pedal my big-wheel through the streets of our quaint South Dakotan trailer court. I could’ve wound up road kill under the tire of an 80’s something Chevy IROC Camaro being manned by some redneck sporting a mullet. See the bicyclists I speak of today must not have had the luxury of loving and caring parents. They must have been abused and left derelict by their parents. Their parents must have told them “here take this neon lime-green t-shirt, a helmet, and some reflectors and feel free to pull out in front of that 18 passenger van.” I’m not sure what it is, but for their sake and mine I’d ask that they wouldn’t ride five miles per hour in front of me. If they feel it’s their way of taking care of the environment. Then that’s great I’m all for saving the ozone, but no matter how great their cause may be they shouldn’t expect the respect of a motorized vehicle. Maybe someday the world will understand what damage we’ve done to the environment and we all will ride bikes. Until then, bicyclist you’ve been warned.